I was inspired to do this when someone at work sent round an email "you know you're 25 when..." So it's time to get my own back B)

You know you’re 50 when:

You don’t know any of the chart hits

You buy your car for safety not style

You thing 50 cent is a unit of currency

Your dancing embarrasses your kids

Your clothes have elastic waistbands

You avoid bars that sell Alco pops and vodka shots

You think Jeremy Clarkson is fashionable

You have more grey hairs than you can count

You begin to think in beige

You ask your kids when then are getting married

You buy comfortable shoes

You are a regular at your local pub

You’ve developed a beer belly

You have membership of the National trust and English Heritage

You hint at having grandchildren

You book your cab home before you leave your house

You go to bed after the 10’clock news

You go out for the evening before 9pm

You text in English not in code

You did GCSEs or CSEs and think school exams are now too easy

If a woman, you have your own central heating system

If a man, you have more hair on your chin than your head

You remember life before Thatcher

You claim your right to be grumpy.

You prefer a good night’s sleep to a night of passion

The bar staff are pouring your drink as you walk through the door

You eat bran flakes to help shift the load

You have a supply of hemorrhoid preparations in your medicine cabinet

You have vinyl records lurking in your attic

You have a pint jug with your name on